


Power In Me Yet

by kanadka



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22603492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kanadka/pseuds/kanadka
Summary: Kira and Damar have it out in the tunnels to talk about the things they probably should have talked about weeks ago.
Relationships: Damar/Kira Nerys
Comments: 9
Kudos: 31
Collections: Chocolate Box - Round 5





	Power In Me Yet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thinlizzy2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinlizzy2/gifts).



> I couldn't find a good way to handwave the Kira/Odo so for the purposes of this ficlet, this is a canon divergence where that never happened (they're good friends though!) and also where Damar is going to live, because, c'mon, Star Trek....

It's an awful walk through the tunnels to the Capital, and Garak is the only one who seems to know where he's going.

"Just past this way!" he calls out from in front of Kira and Damar, who bring up the rear. Damar, because he doesn't come from the Capital and has never been in these tunnels, and Kira, because she doesn't have the advantage of Cardassian low-light vision. It's stuffy and warm, which is saying something because *all* of Cardassia is stuffy and warm. My kingdom for that cooling unit, Kira thinks.

Another thought strikes her. Damar said he'd brought it for her and Odo, but Odo doesn't even sweat, and Damar who worked with Weyoun and Female Founder enough would've known that...

Kira slows to let Garak get a few paces ahead. This means she has to walk more closely with Damar so that he can guide her. It's surprising that Damar doesn't rub her face in it - her inferior Bajoran senses. But then, he's been surprising her a lot lately.

Wordlessly, he matches her pace and offers her his arm, and she takes it. It's awkward to walk like that with him - this is exactly how she used to walk with Edon, or Antos - but Damar doesn't make any mention of it one way or the other, so she assumes it must be a common enough Cardassian thing. In the absence of a voice, it's all she's got to lead her into the dark.

"Look, I'm sorry about earlier," Kira says.

"Hm?" Damar pretends to have forgotten.

Kira rolls her eyes. "Your wife. Your son. That crack I made about innocents in wartime? With me now?"

Damar laughs, derisive and bitter. "You're not sorry," he says.

Well, in a way. "I'm not sorry that I meant those words," admits Kira. "I could've chosen a better time to say them."

The mood shifts to icy. Shame that doesn't cool her down. 

"I'll accept that much," says Damar. 

"Hey," she says gently, "tell me about her."

There's method to her madness. One, she can't see anything, but Damar's voice helps to orient her, where the walls are, where the corridor leads. And two, she's kind of curious - what kind of woman would marry Damar? Sure, he's not all that bad, he's gotten a lot better since they've started working together, but that's just because he has put his racism on the back burner.

"There's not much to tell," says Damar, curt. "You know Garak's playing you," he adds.

The abrupt segue is less important than what he says. "He isn't," Kira hisses.

"A left at the end," announces Garak pointedly from ahead. "Since you two seem to want to tarry. I'll go on and investigate."

Damar starts to snigger. "All those lovely, detailed plots of yours," he says, "and you didn't see that coming?"

"We're on the _same side_ ," Kira says.

"Oh, sure," he replies. "You are." He lowers his voice and Kira has to lean closer to hear him. "The thing is that Garak always positions himself to be on the winning side. Or positions his side to be the one winning. It's subtle. I don't even think he realises he's doing it. But the Obsidian Order got its claws deep in him." Damar shrugs. She can feel the movement throughout her arm, where they're in contact. "I guess I can't hate him for it. Central Command got its claws deep in me, too."

"Well, he's been doing it to you, too," says Kira. "Says you have too much of the romanticism of old Cardassia." This might ruin Garak's work if she draws attention to it, but part of her wants to punish Garak for that. How dare he!

But, Damar's not half wrong. Garak probably can't even help his little manipulations, after all this time.

Damar is quiet a moment as he processes. "Of course," he says. "Of course. Why else tell me about my family but to set up another piece of evidence to manipulate."

"He could have chosen a better time," Kira argues.

"Don't think there's such thing as good time to tell someone their family's been murdered," he retorts. "Why _not_ take the opportunity in one fell swoop. But knowing about Garak is better than confronting him. He thinks we're a bit dumb, we soldiers." Kira thinks she sees a boyish smile on Damar's face. Her eyes must be adjusting. "He's not half wrong. Rusot played into his hands like putty. It cost him his life."

" _You_ cost him his life," says Kira. "You said he was your friend. Why didn't you _do_ something when you could?"

"I _did_ do what I could," says Damar. "Rusot insisted on being involved with us - I couldn't send him away to a different cell - and those were _his_ men, not mine."

"They hardly obeyed him!"

"Yeah," says Damar. "I know. In a way he died for Cardassia."

"The old one, or the new one?" asks Kira, cryptically. 

Damar thinks about it. "Both," he decides. "For what it's worth... Ziyal did too."

Kira glowers. Damar can definitely see it, though he doesn't look over. "She didn't have to die at all," she snaps.

"No," says Damar. "If she didn't... it would have been different. It would have been Dukat in my position."

That makes Kira shudder. She tries to remove her arm from his but he tightens his hold on her - not threatening, just resolute. "Dukat would not have done this," Damar insists. "Dukat would not have done _any_ of this. He would have been the better candidate to deal with Weyoun, he wouldn't've made the mistakes I made. Maybe we wouldn't have this situation with the Breen."

"Or maybe we would and Dukat would have been too stubborn to see that the old ways have to change," says Kira. "Unlike you."

He snorts. But he pats her hand with his (Cardassian scales are cooler and smoother than she would have expected - Kira's horrified that it's not as bad as she thought it'd be) and agrees. "Unlike me."

"I wouldn't have let him walk with me like this," she blurts.

For a moment Damar freezes, mid-pat, then gently relaxes his hand over hers, where it rests around his arm. His scales are cool but that is not why she shivers. "No, you wouldn't have," he whispers.

It's almost too faint to hear. Unfortunately, Bajoran hearing is very, very good.

He slows, and stops. "Listen, I have to say something," he adds. Her heart jolts to life in her chest and sinks into her stomach at the same time. Oh, Prophets, she thinks, dreading it. "It's because of me that Revok turned. It's because of me those men are dead."

That's not at all what she expected. "What?"

Damar's words come haltingly, under duress. "When you had left, back to the station, with the Constable, I - tried to convince Rusot's men that what had happened was an accident. I couldn't lie to them, though. And Garak's web of stories only got us so far - they don't trust Garak, and, well, nor should they. No military man trusts an order man. Those were old patterns. They trusted _me_ , until they found out I was the one who shot Rusot. That I was the one who shot Rusot because he would have shot you."

"But you only did that, says Kira, "because -"

"Because I need you," he blurts. He huffs and clears his throat, then quickly corrects himself. "Because _we_ need you. We need your guidance. We can't plan a rebellion alone."

"You're _not_ alone."

"We are," says Damar. "We're down five hundred thousand dead Cardassians. That's pretty damn alone."

"Because Revok sold them out!"

"Because Rusot's men didn't trust my leadership and think I'm too swept up by _you_ \- a-and your Federation," says Damar. "They made contact with Revok and told him all he needed to know about me. He went with what he thought was the most logical thing - "

"Sold you out to the Dominion," realises Kira.

"And the rest is a pile of bodies."

"Why..." she begins, but thinks better of it. "No. Never mind."

"Oh, go on," says Damar, "ask."

"Well, if you already know what I'm going to ask you!" she snaps.

"Why I _really_ shot Rusot?" he says.

Damar can be so annoyingly obtuse sometimes. "Why you suddenly don't care that I'm Bajoran after years and _years_ of caring about it just a little too much, and that it's okay to accept my inferior help!" Kira says.

"I'm a soldier," he replies. "I take directions. I'm _happy_ taking directions. I'm _happy_ without having to think about it. When I think about it, I find I make the wrong choice. like with my family. Like with Dukat's daughter."

"Yeah, well, you weren't happy taking directions from Weyoun," she points out.

"I was informed we would be equals," says Damar, "the way Dukat and Weyoun worked together as equals. Weyoun had no such intention and would thwart me at every move to get the upper hand, and he was successful. He wanted me put in my place, but I couldn't trust him to have Cardassia's best interests at heart - and you know we're all dedicated to the state to the last."

"But you trust a _Bajoran_ to have the best interests of Cardassia at heart," says Kira.

Damar sighs. "When you keep bringing it up, no. If I think too much about it, no. But when we're out there and you bark orders, I _don't have to think_ and things just work. You know what you're doing and you react and you make the right choices. You get us out alive. In half a year Weyoun stole influence and signed an alliance with the Breen that would reduce Cardassia to little more than a puppet state. In half a month, you stole a Jem'Hadar ship with a fully-installed Breen weapon. Now, if you hadn't come back after you spirited it off to Terok Nor, that would be one thing. Maybe Rusot would have been right and you were just using us to do the Federation's work. But you did come back. Give me some credit, it's not hard to work out."

It dawns on her. "You _like_ me above you," whispers Kira. "You _like_ me telling you what to do." She tightens her hold on his arm and digs the nails in, not hard, just enough to remind.

There's a hitch in his breath and she could swear she sees him lick his lips. "You said it, not me," he replies. "Colonel, you are my last hope -"

"What about Garak?" she asks.

"Garak's a brilliant spy," Damar says, "but he's used to working alone. You understand coordination - you understand resistance. If ... for everyone we just saw back there, dead. If their deaths meant nothing to you, I don't think you'd be here. the irony isn't lost on me - Cardassia's salvation, a Bajoran - but that's old Cardassia talking. New Cardassia can't afford to think like that, if she ever wants to see the light of day at all."

"I could work with New Cardassia," says Kira. She sighs. "I'd _like_ to work with New Cardassia."

"Yes, well, it'll need people," says Damar.

"We'll get them." Her confidence isn't entirely thorough.

"Kira," he murmurs. There's a very soft, velvet way he manages to speak. She probably shouldn't notice that. "Don't let me down. Don't let me let them down again."

Kira turns toward him to find his eyes on her already, and there's a moment, where she's looking up into his eyes, and he looks down into hers. Height difference aside, there is no mistaking his earnestness. It dawns on her that much of her experience with Cardassians - the ones she's exchanged words with - was with Garak, or Dukat. Neither of whom have ever been very honest, as a general rule, and certainly not to her.

But here's Damar with his heart laid open at her feet.

He leans closer, and she doesn't back away - 

"Well, it appears the left fork has been blocked off," calls Garak's voice loudly, "so might I suggest we -"

He stops. Even though by this time Damar and Kira have already broken apart, she can feel the heat of him on her skin, practically branded there, and though she resists the urge to put her hands in her pocket, play at innocence, anything to shake off these feelings, Kira has a sneaking suspicion it wouldn't do any good. Garak wasn't born yesterday.

"I don't know what I'm interrupting," says Garak, "but surely it can wait until we get to a safer location, hm?"

"Sir, yes sir," says Damar, and if it's a touch ironic, that's for Kira's ears only.


End file.
